The Many Adventurers of Tiramisu: Messing in the Muck
Players:
Nathan (me!) - Ascellus Tirimasu/Fighter L2 and Moid Belunky/Fighter L1
Ags - Geaucoux Cacarot/Fighter L3
My thirst for adventure knows no bounds! Indeed, I will have that 4000gp shotgun or I will have death.
I met a new boon companion named Geaucoux. He's a swarthy fighting man with ample musculature and a magical sword. I was impressed by his bravado and so we set off to the village of Muck. Truly a woeful place that looks about like it sounds. While there we heard an interesting rumour: a large, beeping eel swims around the southern mangrove forest and had stolen a bangle off of a woman of the village. Adventure calls!
We set off on canoe into the mire. Large mangrove trees surrounded us, and the air was all moisture. Rather than wear my plate armour, I equipped Moid's leather armour. Given that our foe's would be aquatic and that I may be attacking from a canoe, I brought along a spear and dagger rather than my usual sword and shield. Moid went in his underwear, armed primarily with his bow and arrow. My companion Geaucoux wore leather armour adorned with lions, which seemed perfectly suited to these conditions.
Our first day was relatively futile. Moid slew an eel but it was not our quarry. After tarrying awhile we returned to Muck. Overnight, I heard a horrible chanting from the villagers. I must confess it made me afraid but Moid left to investigate. He told me it was some kind of mermaid procession in which the people did some ritual with mermaid statues. They seemed to not appreciate the outsider and so Moid returned to our rented shack.
The next day we set out and went further. Eventually we found a beautiful mangrove... grove. I ventured to climb into this circle of peace and harmony and chanced upon a beautiful trio of most lovely ladies. One of them, a ginger, struck my fancy immediately: she was to be my girlfriend, the first since middle school. She was seated with her legs in a pond that sat tranquilly in this grove. And so, from the other end of the pond, I declaimed the following poem which sprung spontaneously from my most tender heart:
My heart is like a singing bird Whose nest is in a water'd shoot;
My heart is like an apple-tree Whose boughs are bent with thickset fruit;
My heart is like a rainbow shell That paddles in a halcyon sea;
My heart is gladder than all these Because my love is come to me.
She, impressed by my poetry, invited me to her side. I swam happily over like a naive guppy fish and, when I least expected it, she spat boiling water from her mouth like a draconic beast! My animal instincts enabled me to duck beneath the water just in time. These were no maidens. These were man eating mermaids!
My companion Geaucoux, a misogynist of sorts, stayed at the other end of the pond and helped me climb out after I swam furiously toward him. Moid, ever resourceful, got the boat ready for our escape. We took the canoe east for over an hour, where we knew we would find land.
After a breather we went back to search for the eel. We eventually found a massive tree and found it had an entrance. We went inside and were greeted by water up to our knees and a dense tangle of tree. A crawlspace was visible in the south side, and the light was coming through only in small streams.
A strange black box with some sort of wiring sat in the room. The ingenious Geaucoux opted to use his strength to bash the box open and, while he was successful, was electrocuted for 11 points of damage! His swarthiness is like no man I have seen thus far, however, and he withstood the shock. His magic sword mangled the box, and within he found a dumb computer chip. I was hoping to find something to win the favour of the mermaid but alas... Such is fate!
At this point a man from nowhere came running in screaming about an eel. I put him down with my spear, unsure if he was friend or foe and unwilling to take chances. As his blood spilled, Evil Fish-type creatures began filling the murky water. I threw a ration, and my two companions and I left for our canoe while the Evil Fish devoured man and ration alike!
We decided to settle at a nearby isle and wait for the eel. We heard its beeping, and saw it swim toward its home. Some kind of strange red flash at its head kept time with the beep. Moid let out a flawless shot, and nailed the beast in a vital point. My companions and I took our boat and gave chase as it retreated into its mangrove home. We concocted a plan: Moid would stay on the canoe outside, and shoot at the beast as we lured it from its home.
Its blood remained in the water for the time being. We saw it had gone down the crawlspace at the south side of the giant mangrove tree cave (My sense of direction is flawless, by the by). I dropped my spear, put my dagger between my teeth, and tied a lasso around my waist using some rope. My companion, Geaucoux, would help pull me out should I tug the rope multiple times. Should I tug it once, he would come in and follow me.
The mangrove tunnels were dense and often submerged. It was yucky business. After multiple twists and turns I suddenly lost my footing and fell into a pit of water. Under the surface, I saw two massive eyes. I thought this may have been the eel and swam toward these eyes with my dagger. It turned it it was instead two men with eyeballs for heads! They attempted to pull me under and drown me, but my dagger won the day.
Once I caught my breath, I saw that the room we were in had a strange stone staircase. I opted to ignore this; eels can't walk. So we continued our tunnel crawling procedure and, by eliminating the places the eel could not go I managed to find the beast's lair.
It was resting in a weakened state. I cut the rope behind me-this was to be my fight, not my stronger comrade's-and lunged at the creature. It blasted me with hyper-pressurized water from its mouth which sent me spinning across the room but, catching myself with a deft pencil roll, I scurried along the floor and wrestled the beast into the corner. I pinned it by its head and, despite the beast's futile thrashing, I ended it with my dagger in short order. I spat upon the floor and said "Was that eely supposed to be a challenge?"
Inside its lair, I managed to find 600 gold pieces attached to a string alongside the bracelet we were looking for. We exfiltrated without incident and told Moid of our deeds as we navigated back to the village. Yet... a deceptive plot brewed in my head. Perhaps this bracelet would be a suitable gift for my beloved.
We arrived in town and as my companions settled in for the night, I took the canoe and a lantern through the darkness. I returned to the grove of the mermaids. My object of desire was alone, and I approached without any weapons. Though I knew she did not want me I could not help but seek closure. I knelt down at the other end of the pond like before, and allowed my heart to pour forth once more:
Raise me a dais of silk and down; Hang it with vair and purple dyes; Carve it in doves and pomegranates, And peacocks with a hundred eyes; Work it in gold and silver grapes, In leaves and silver fleurs-de-lys; Because the birthday of my life Is come, my love is come to me.
I then tossed the bracelet into the pool and left. This was to be a peace offering. Though I can not be with her, I wish her to know I mean no harm.
What happened next left me in shock. She took the bracelet and, after performing some kind of ritual, removed a dark mist which I neglected to mention earlier that impeded further passage west! She then said to me in her dulcet tones: "Ascellus... We can never be together, but my sisters and I hold no umbrage toward you. Your heart is as pure as the driven snow and we sisters are creatures driven to evil and the devouring of men. Please... Go and do not come back. Go before the hunger takes me once again!"
A fountain of tears poured from my eyes. Nay! A veritable waterfall of tears exploded out in such quantities that I had to bail my canoe during the long lonely lurch to Muck. Lil Grungler, my pet and ally, had recently left me. I let him go because, being a Grunkie, he was not meant for the human world no matter how much he built his biceps. And now here I am, unable to touch and hold the dearest love of my whole life because of a like occurrence. We are of incompatible worlds: the dry land and the wet, the human and the demon! It is like my whole life is a mere tragi-comedy, written by a cruel playwright with a taste for irony. As if this whole sham of existence is some game played for sport by monads who invent simulacrums of whole worlds! Woe is me! Curse birth! Curse life! Condemnable shell of a man worth not even a copper piece! I howled at the moon and tore out my glorious moustache, surrounded only by black night and croaking frogs.
Session Commentary:
Excuse the melodrama, a boy has gotta have fun.
There's lots to comment on in this session. Ags and I are siblings and game together a lot, so we were able to cover a lot of ground and collaborate easily. Super dynamic and fun sessions.
Ascellus going "falling in love" with the Mermaid is an example of portraying your character, as described by Weird Writer. In a lot of OSR play, there is such a fear of character death that people don't have any fun with their characters while they're alive. I knew for a fact that those mysterious wood sisters would be evil. But I basically just did it for fun. It felt right for the character and, well, dying just isn't that big a deal. It's just a game, after all!
Troupe play also makes death a little less scary. While Ascellus is my main man, Moid is also gaining XP and slowly distinguishing himself as a character. I play him as the straight man to Ascellus, both for survival reasons and because it's kind of funny.
Overall, this session was exactly what I like to get out of table top games. Also, I appreciate that this material was just recently made by the ref Mr.Mann and so we were the first to collect that 600gp and slay that eel!